Change of Heart

A song by Chance Espinoza about his brother Chandler's last day.

“Go get the family...when they see how strong he is, maybe they’ll have a change of heart.”

I previously shared Chandler’s story, our family’s story, in It’s Time: The Part We Never Told.

Now I want to share the story of Chandler’s last day as told by my son Chance.

Chance is a prolific songwriter—processing pain, expressing joy, and savoring life through the setting of story to music. His album Pin Your Name to the Stairs is all about Chandler.

But this song…this song. Change of Heart. It is brutal. It is true. And we lived it.

Change of Heart by Chance Espinoza

Those days were so long
You were cut so short
They came to your room without
Reading a page of your report
I knew they wanted you to stay
Who’s to say who is to stay anyway

Hey, maybe we’ll have a change of heart

Phone call, remarks
Disclose concern
Plead your case with a holy phrase
Peg and trach
You said what if he was born this way
An ungodly thing to say
No comfort or care

Maybe we’ll have a change of heart
Maybe we’ll have a change of heart
Maybe we’ll have a change of heart
Maybe we’ll have a change of heart

We know you would

So much for ethics now
So much for ethics now
I’ll never forget that sound
Cough, mercy, cough, breathing, not breathing now

So much for ethics now
So much for ethics now
Pull the pin and disavow
At least he’s resting now

Why do I share Chandler’s story?

I share Chandler’s story because no family should have to go through what we went through. I am sharing to bring awareness to families who will sit in those same rooms faced with the same unthinkable decisions and don’t know what they don’t know until it’s too late. I am sharing to let families who have already experienced this nightmare know that they are not alone. And I am sharing it for doctors, nurses, future healthcare workers in training, spiritual care directors—every person whose job intersects with end-of-life moments—that they might see the human cost when a system fails the very people it is meant to protect.

Give this story wings.

If Chandler’s story moved you, please help me get it into the right hands.

• Share this post with a healthcare professional you know.

• Send it to someone you know who needs to hear it for whatever reason.

• Post it to your own community.

Every share is wind beneath the wings of Chandler’s story.